tuckova

That summer I had a job at an elementary school helping out with
organizing books and cleaning classrooms for the coming year. I put
things by subject and then alphabetically by author like any good
librarian’s daughter. I hated that you knew I worked there, that you
might show up with your stupid car, with the engine throbbing and some
idea of where we might go. And I would go; I went because it was easier
than making up reasons why not to.

And I hated you enough to be honest. I told you I didn’t like you
and that I wouldn’t like you and still you came around, puppy eyes and
hopeful. What were you doing, panting after a teenage girl who already
preferred to be alone. I hadn’t had my heart broken yet but I knew what it
would feel like and I wanted none of it. I went to Simon and Garfunkel to
express myself and wrote the lyrics for I Am A Rock on the back of a
receipt I found in your glove compartment and still you wouldn’t go
away.
At work, I put tape around broken bindings, swept out the cobwebs, and thought everything was a metaphor.

You were polite to my parents and they liked you which didn’t work the
way I planned and I tore away in my anger to get into that car of
yours and drive and drive, listen to the radio. You weren’t even
interesting enough to like music. One day I went to your house (who
lives with his parents when he’s over twenty?) to meet your parents. I
thought I was going to meet them, I even prepared my face. And the dog
stood outside the door and barked and howled. You thought I knew what I
was doing. People thought I was running from something but in fact I’d
been backing away ever since I learned to walk. You told me it wasn’t
like it was something I hadn’t done before. In fact it was like nothing
I’d done before. Afterwards you let me go, past the dog and its dripping\u003c/span\>\nsaliva, and back to your damn car and back to my house where I couldn't\ntell them anything.\nDon't call me again, I said. Don't come here again ever. I said "go\naway" and I finally meant it.\u003cbr\>\n\u003cbr\>I think it's shortly after that that I cut off all my hair, but\nthis may be poetic license. I know there was the scene where you pulled\nup in front of the school and I told you to go away and the principal\ncame out and I made like I didn't know you.\nYou peeled out of the parking lot and the principal looked at me and I\nshrugged. How could I explain the things that seemed so out of my\ncontrol that I couldn't even name them. \u003cbr\>\n\u003cbr\>So I was back to taking the bus and walking. And then school\nstarted again, and my new job was grading papers, and some teacher told\nme "Go away" was a fragment, and I told her it was a complete sentence.\nComplete because YOU was implied. I got fired. I was right, though.\u003c/div\>\n”,0]
);
//–>dripping
saliva, and back to your damn car and back to my house where I couldn’t
tell them anything.
Don’t call me again, I said. Don’t come here again ever. I said "go
away" and I finally meant it.

I think it’s shortly after that that I cut off all my hair, but
this may be poetic license. I know there was the scene where you pulled
up in front of the school and I told you to go away and the principal
came out and I made like I didn’t know you.
You peeled out of the parking lot and the principal looked at me and I
shrugged. How could I explain the things that seemed so out of my
control that I couldn’t even name them.

So I was back to taking the bus and walking. And then school
started again, and my new job was grading papers, and some teacher told
me "Go away" was a fragment, and I told her it was a complete sentence.
Complete because YOU was implied. I got fired. I was right, though.