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Interests: Alfons Mucha, Archibald Leach, big words, Bob Hicok, Brian Eno, Cat Power, Charles Bukowski, Charlotte Masaryk, cheese, clarity, dark chocolate, David Byrne, David Foster Wallace, Dorothy Parker, Douglas Adams, Edna St. Vincent Millay, E.E. Cummings, Frank O’Hara, Fred Rogers, garlic, Gaudi, Gertrude Stein, ginger, Gustav Klimt, Iva Pekarkova, Jane Austen, Jaromir Nohavica, Jeanette Winterson, Josef Skvorecky, Joseph Campbell, Joss Whedon, Just a Minute, Kate Bush, Kurt Vonnegut, laughing until it hurts, Laurie Anderson, Leonard Cohen, little kids singing, Lloyd Alexander, mandarin oranges, making lists, Margaret Atwood, Miss Manners, New Yorker, Paul Simon, performance, P.G. Wodehouse, poetry, Rebecca Solnit, Rob Brezsny, Robert Anton Wilson, Robert Creeley, salt, Salvador Dali, secrets, silence, Star Trek, Stephen Dunn, Talking Heads, Terry Gilliam, things that stain, This American Life, Tom Waits, T.S. Eliot, vegetable juice, veiled cultural references, vinegar, water, wine, W.H. Auden

No, but see, what I said was…

So I decided to start writing to businesses that annoy and please me, instead of just being annoyed and pleased all on my own. I was unaware that instead of resolving the issue, it would ratchet up the level of annoyance.

Dear ProFlowers customer service,
I appreciate updates about specials and seasonal offers and I would prefer not to cancel the e-mail update option. However, I object to the use of my first name in these promotions. You aren’t talking to me, but to a mass mailing list, and in no case are we friendly enough that you should use my first name; similarly, I don’t like the automatic first-name referral to the person for whom I’ve purchased flowers. It isn’t impressive that you have the technology to plug in the names of users that have accessed your services before: it’s distressing that you think that inserting a name makes a more effective pitch when you can’t be bothered to address the target with respect. It doesn’t seem like it would be that much more difficult to use first and last names for both the purchaser and the recipient.

I appreciate the ability to order via the internet and I appreciate the quality of your product. I do wish I didn’t wince at the e-mails; it creates an unpleasant association in my mind for what is otherwise a reliable service and a fine product.

–Anne Tuckova

Dear Anne,
Thank you for contacting ProFlowers. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience our mailings have caused you.
Thank you for your suggestion. I will forward this immediately to the
appropriate department for further review.  We appreciate your feedback
as it helps us to provide better service and more options for our
customers.
Again, we are sorry for this inconvenience.

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