tuckova

ideas, old gossip, oddments of all things

recent posts

about

Interests: Alfons Mucha, Archibald Leach, big words, Bob Hicok, Brian Eno, Cat Power, Charles Bukowski, Charlotte Masaryk, cheese, clarity, dark chocolate, David Byrne, David Foster Wallace, Dorothy Parker, Douglas Adams, Edna St. Vincent Millay, E.E. Cummings, Frank O’Hara, Fred Rogers, garlic, Gaudi, Gertrude Stein, ginger, Gustav Klimt, Iva Pekarkova, Jane Austen, Jaromir Nohavica, Jeanette Winterson, Josef Skvorecky, Joseph Campbell, Joss Whedon, Just a Minute, Kate Bush, Kurt Vonnegut, laughing until it hurts, Laurie Anderson, Leonard Cohen, little kids singing, Lloyd Alexander, mandarin oranges, making lists, Margaret Atwood, Miss Manners, New Yorker, Paul Simon, performance, P.G. Wodehouse, poetry, Rebecca Solnit, Rob Brezsny, Robert Anton Wilson, Robert Creeley, salt, Salvador Dali, secrets, silence, Star Trek, Stephen Dunn, Talking Heads, Terry Gilliam, things that stain, This American Life, Tom Waits, T.S. Eliot, vegetable juice, veiled cultural references, vinegar, water, wine, W.H. Auden

R. Kelly doesn’t know from “Real Talk”

conversations I did not expect to have more than once, bathroom edition:

  • This is a laundry basket. The dirty clothes go IN the basket: not next to, not on top of, not near: IN.
  • This is my comb. That is your comb. I do not like to share combs, which is why you have your very own.
  • This is a toothbrush stand. The toothbrush lives there. Please put the toothbrush back after you have brushed your teeth.
  • Fairies do not replace toiletries. A real live human must be alerted in
    order for your toiletries to be replaced.
  • The shower is not self-cleaning. If there is anything on the walls when
    you are done with your shower, please rinse it off.
  • This is a bath mat.
    The bath mat lives on the side of the tub. Please return the bath mat
    to its home after you have had your shower.
  • This is a toilet. Again, the preposition is IN. Not ON or NEAR or NEXT TO: IN.
  • This is a sink. It is for washing your hands. Wash your hands before you leave the bathroom.
  • This is a towel. It is for drying things, including hands. Dry your hands after you wash them and before you leave the bathroom.
  • This is a cat box. The cat needs access to it. Please do not close the door all the way before you go to sleep at night.
Posted in

One response to “R. Kelly doesn’t know from “Real Talk””

  1. daisy Avatar
    daisy

    Hmmm. I’ve had that same litter box conversation more than once at our house too.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a comment