love letters

Dear U.S. Dollar,
Knock it off! I pay taxes on you in two countries. Pull your socks up, sir, or … or. Seriously, though.
With love, but just a little longer,

Dear Thanksgiving,
HAHAHAHAHA! Enjoy yourselves! The only turkey that will be consumed in this house tomorrow will be Wild. Otherwise, man, I’m saving all my love for the winter break, during which my goal is to fully indulge my inner bear and sleep and sleep and sleep. Eyes on the prize; we shall not be distracted by something that involves more cooking than eating.
Gobble!

Dear Internets,
I think you should be free like butterflies but I also cannot believe I
do not have to pay you for the very fabulous experience of
shoe-shopping with Squire and having him tell me which shoes rule and
which shoes suck. And then I crushed him under my foot and said Stupid
Boy Stupid Boy and then we collapsed in an agony of geek giggling.
I’m yrs, etc.,