tuckova

Squire Tuck and i have been talking about brains lately. this is because he
drew a probe that he would like to design that would help him to access
and understand the brains of others. half of this probe is very
grid-like, the other half is all squiggledy. i imagine that you will
be, as i was, interested to learn that the grid portion of the probe is
for decoding the emotions of others, and the squiggle part is for
thoughts. because thoughts come in different sizes and shapes, you see,
whereas emotions have a limited number of causes and expressions and
always make sense.

the number of times that i can say "ah" in a day continues to amaze me.
i’m clocking "ah" at the speed formerly observed for the
expressionless "yeah" on the west wing.

so i asked Squire Tuck to draw me the inside of his brain, which he did, and it
was really interesting because my picture of the inside of my brain is
radically different. whole people can get in and out of my brain, they
can poke about and learn things, tell me about themselves all day long, settle into the armchair that’s just
behind my forehead and see things from my point of view, should they
choose to do so. people can wander in unannounced and set up their own
little cozy area, decide to stay for a while, and i play really loud
music and ask them to leave but they’re like, gripping tightly to a
dendrite and they shall not be moved. my skull is basically like a
bucky fuller house, it’s my house and it’s where i live and all my thoughts have their own rooms,
and that’s how it is.

it is consistently strange to me to realize that i have a completely
different concept of something than someone else has; that my concept
is based on absolutely nothing other than my imagination and possibly
some vaguely remembered sci-fi films; that this concept is no more or
less valid than anyone else’s. that there may be nobody
wandering around inside my brain except me, or that in fact
wandering does not take place at all.

Squire Tuck has a high and impenetrable wall at the edge of his brain, by the
way. i should have gotten one of those, but i seem to have these rather
permeable walls and they’re right at the property line. so. come on in.
i will make you some coffee and i have these delicious dark-chocolate-covered gingerbread things, they’re taking up an awful lot of space in
here right now and i’m happy to share.

*edited to add a requested link to a picture of the probe. the brain pictures are private, but Squire Tuck okay’ed the picture of the probe.